The Bare Necessities
Keeping a newborn alive is hard, keeping yourself WELL is just as hard. I’m going to list the most basic information someone can give you for those early newborn days.
Feeding: Newborns need to feed every 1 to 3 hours, or on demand when you notice their hunger cues. Day and night. Now, this means if you feed baby at 2 p.m. and it takes them 30 minutes to feed, you still need to feed them again anywhere from 3 p.m.- 5 p.m. How will you know your baby is hungry? Some hunger cues could include “rooting”(looking for the breast), sucking on their hands, licking their lips, opening and closing their mouths frequently, and of course a last resort is crying. It is very important to discuss with your pediatrician any concerns about weight gain, especially if you are breastfeeding as low weight gain could indicate a poor latch and lead to a diagnosis of Failure to Thrive. If you’re breastfeeding and not sure when to stop feeding your baby, look for signs of fullness such as: unclenched fists, sucking slowing and coming to a stop, and the classic “milk drunk” state. Something very important about breastfeeding is mama’s milk does not contain enough Vitamin D for baby. So either you need to take a supplement, or baby does or baby could develop Rickets.
“Second night syndrome”: Second night syndrome isn’t a disease, but it is very common and very jarring. Basically, your babies first 24 hours alive they will be very sleepy. Birth is HARD WORK! However, night 2 will be completely different. Baby can no longer rely on the placenta to get them the nourishment they need, so now they’re relying on you! You will notice baby is extremely fussy, cluster feeding, and needing to be on mom for comfort. Your baby was just evicted from their cozy, dark, safe womb. They’re now in this weird room with bright lights and monitors beeping, experiencing gravity for then first time (which we all know how heavy that can feel), and they no longer hear mama’s heart beat or the swooshing of amniotic fluid. I’d be pretty scared too!
Cluster Feeding: Cluster feeding is a beast within itself. If you’re breastfeeding you’ll likely quickly convince yourself that you’re not making enough milk. This is not always the case. Your baby’s tummy is TINY those first few weeks. It is very common for babies to want to feed frequently, especially as it gets closer to “witching hour”. If you are breastfeeding, it’s not just a source of nutrition but also of comfort for baby. So, if you think your baby is eating a lot- they probably are. But that’s not something that’s necessarily concerning.
Witching Hour: Everyone’s timing of the witching hour is a little different from what I’ve been able to gather due to baby’s sleep/wake cycles. Basically, this is the time of day or night where your baby is just an angry to be in existence. For us, it’s right around 5:30 p.m. We call it the “sundown scaries” at my house. This is the time of night where my daughter turns into a ravenous, inconsolable beast. She wants to eat everything in sight, her emotions are high because she’s getting tired, and she’s just generally more moody at this time of night. Every night since coming home from the hospital.
Failure to Thrive: Failure to thrive is very scary, and even potentially fatal. When an infant isn’t gaining weight the way they are supposed to (typically a latching issue that stems directly from oral ties) they can be diagnosed with FTT. Some symptoms are delayed milestones, low or no weight gain, and extreme fatigue.
Oral Ties: There are three types of oral ties, lip, tongue, and buccal(cheek). These ties can vary in how extreme they are. If not revised, oral ties can lead to speech delay, speech impediment, difficulty feeding at the breast, as well as tension issues in the mouth, head and neck.
Diapers: A general rule of thumb for infants is they should have one diaper their first 24 hours Earthside, 2 diapers on day 2, 3 diapers on day 3 and so on until day 5. At this point they should have 5-6 dirty diapers a day. This gives us a good idea of whether or not baby is getting enough to eat. Newborn poop can vary in color, consistency, and frequency. It’s important not to stress out- and contact your pediatrician with any concerns.
Sleep: I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” but as a parent it’s not always that simple. For about the first 4 weeks a newborn will only be awake for about an hour at a time. This will include their feed, diaper change, exchanging smiles and coos with their caregivers, as well as possibly tummy time. As babies get older their wake windows will get longer. I know personally I was more concerned with making sure my baby was still breathing rather than making sure I got sleep. However, not sleeping can be extremely dangerous. You could fall asleep holding the baby and drop them, you could nod off while driving- you get the picture. If you don’t have support and need to sleep you may want to consider co-sleeping. However, the safest practice is the ABC’s of sleep. Alone, on their back, and in a crib. This means no pillows, blankets, crib bumpers, or that really cute stuffed animal grandma got them. You’ll notice your baby does this thing called “active sleeping”. Essentially, they’ll smile, stop breathing randomly, screech like a pterodactyl, cry, and coo in their sleep. As a new parent this can be terrifying- but totally normal.
Colic: Personally, I don’t believe colic is real. However, lot’s of pediatricians do. Colic is described as a healthy baby crying inconsolably for 3 hours at a time, 3 days a week, for more than 3 weeks for apparently no reason. The reason I don’t believe in it is because I personally don’t think babies cry for no reason. They could have tension from being in a funky position inside mama’s womb, gassy from formula or something in mom’s diet, missing mom’s heart beat, oral ties leading to lack of food intake or so much more.
Gas: Babies guts are extremely fragile, so generally those first few days to weeks they’re going to be pretty uncomfortable and gassy as their microbiome is forming. It’s crucial to keep their body moving to keep the bubbles flowing. There are lots of videos on Youtube that will give you a beautiful visual representation of stretches to do with your babe. You can also rub their tummy, gently sit them up supported with their chin in your hand and rock them in a circle, or of course offer Mylicon. Tummy time is really good for helping with gas and stubborn poops as well. Pay attention if you are bottle feeding, and don’t let your baby cry for too long before feeding them as swallowing too much air creates excess gas.
Tummy Time: Tummy Time is probably one of the most crucial things you can do for your infant. You can start tummy time straight from birth to help with digestion, strengthening their muscles, preventing flat spots on their head, as well as aiding in developing their motor skills.
SIDS: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, otherwise known as “crib death” is a very sad, unfortunate, sensitive topic. I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty of SIDS, but there is a link provided if you wish to read on the specifics. As someone who has seen this happen first hand I know just how scary and confusing it may be. The most important thing to know about SIDS is it has a rapid onset and often is an umbrella term for death in infants that can’t be identified. It’s crucial to continue to practice safe sleep measures, attended routine pediatrician appointments, and ask for help if ever you are struggling to care for yourself or your baby.
BIG NO-NO’S: NEVER EVER GIVE A BABY UNDER 6 MONTHS WATER, OR A BABY UNDER A YEAR HONEY. Water prematurely can decrease kidney function, and honey poses a risk of infant botulism due to the bacteria that can be found in it.